


We Came Crying Hither

by coldfusion9797



Series: Improbable Fiction [2]
Category: Kingsman (Movies) RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Conventions, Depression, Hook-Up, Jealousy, M/M, Sad and Happy, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-04-24 21:16:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14363853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldfusion9797/pseuds/coldfusion9797
Summary: Tom encounters a fellow lost soul at Comic Con 2017.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because both Tom and Taron scared the crap out of me when I saw photos of them from this event. I can't be the only one who saw how tired and sad they looked, can I?

In the beginning, when Kenneth had cast him as Loki, Tom had never dreamed that all this could be just a job. That acting and all that came with it, would become a chore. That like all those downtrodden people trudging off to their 9 to 5's, he'd get sick of it. But unlike those faceless people, he couldn't just up and quit. Disney wouldn't allow that. And Disney was as calculating and ruthless as employers came. So he showed up every day, spewed out his uninspiring lines, and waited for the day when it would all be over. When he could slink back to England and admit to his father that maybe he'd been right all along. Acting wasn't something a person could really build a life upon.

During meal breaks they'd all hang around in their costumes, props sat aside, and try to be regular people. The others joked around, so many bright faces, beautiful people happy to be back among friends. How Tom envied them. Especially Sebastian. He knew the bond between Bucky and Steve had bled through into real life. He knew that Sebastian had his Chris, and that while they hadn't been exclusive over the years, they loved each other and would keep coming back to each other. _To the end of the line._ Good grief, he really was losing it.

He watched on as they mucked around together, so happy, so assured of their feelings, so content with the choices they'd made. Their careers might not fly the way his Chris' had, but they had each other, and what more did they need?

Damn Australians and their backwards views. When his Chris had been offered the same thing he'd up and married the first woman he came across, a knee-jerk reaction to his ideas about the ideal man being questioned. He'd had a point to prove and had made it loud and clear. _I am not gay!_

His Chris joined in the playful banter, having resigned himself to the fact that the were not going to be friends, and had left Tom alone for the most part. That hurt a little, but mostly he was glad of it. He was tired of pretending. 

"Are you excited for Comic Con?" A young and enthusiastic voice intruded into his brooding. 

He turned to Little Tom who had plonked himself down on the seat beside him, busying himself with a huge plate of food and talking with his mouth half full. "I mean, it's gonna be pretty cool, right? With all of us there. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to really believe that I'm a part of all this."

Tom didn't want to crush the boys bright-eyed wonder, so he didn't tell him that soon enough there would be plenty of heartache to remind him of all that he had sacrificed for this so-called privilege. That before long it would become all too real.

"I suppose. It's always interesting to see how the fans react to our work."

"Man I hope they like Spidey. Hey, did you ever notice how there's a lot of Tom H's. Like if you punch it into IMDb," Little Tom said, as he demonstrated on his phone. "You've got Tom Hardy, Tom Hanks, Tom Holland... Hey, I'm above you... Tom Hiddleston..."

"I can't say that I have..." This conversation really wasn't making him feel any better. Thankfully he was inadvertently saved by Robert.

"Hey kid! Get over here..."

"See ya," Little Tom said as he scooped a slice of pizza up off his plate and took off the join the rest of the group. Watching him go, Tom hoped he could hold onto that spark. He also knew it would take a miracle for that to happen.


	2. Chapter 2

Comic Con was the utter nightmare he thought it would be. Fake smiles and fake enthusiasm. He couldn't quite pretend this excited him like it used to. People asked the same tired questions and he was sick of answering them. One thing he did have to admire about Chris, was the way he still bought into it. His smiles looked genuine enough. But then, what did he have to be miserable about?

Tom did his best though, tried to fulfil his contractual obligations. He did understand that he was being paid a lot of money to act in these films, and that he had a job to do. That didn't mean he wasn't completely relieved when the panel was done and he could let the mask drop. 

He was at his wits end, wondering how on Earth he could face one more day of this, when something caught his attention. A face. One that he recognised because he saw the same thing every time he looked in the mirror. Dull eyes. Mouth set in a hard line. A person with the life being drained out of them. He knew the feeling, the immense pressure a film franchise carried, and how that pressure could crush you. 

Suddenly he wanted to reach out. To tell this person it wasn't too late. That he was young and there was so much to look forward to if he didn't by into all the bullshit that came along with the fame. That the fans were more forgiving than the studios would have them believe. Tom recognised talent and potential here, and he was grasped by an intense fear that it was going to be snuffed out. A rising star was going to fade before it had ever had a chance to really shine. 

He moved before he thought, approaching the young man and sticking his hand out. 

"Tom," he offered. 

Uninterested, green eyes surveyed him with detatchement.

"I know." 

"Can I buy you a drink?"

A raised brow, a slow handshake.

"I have a panel now." Flat. Hollow.

"Of course," Tom allowed. "Tonight?" Others we prompting the young blonde to keep moving. Tom didn't want to miss this chance. "The hotel bar at 9 o'clock?"

"Maybe." Then he was gone. 

Tom stood on the spot, heart pounding like it hadn't in so long. It wasn't a yes but it wasn't a no, and he knew if it was him and anyone had asked, he wouldn't have been able to offer any better.


	3. Chapter 3

What the hell was he doing? He just needed to weather this publicity tour and then... What? He had no idea. Life was out of control. He couldn't keep smiling like he meant it when all he wanted to do was withdraw. Pull back and take a break. Gather himself and regroup. Maybe figure out what the hell it all meant. 

It was a quarter past nine by the time he made it to the bar. And there he was, Tom bloody Hiddleston, just waiting for him. Taron had worked with some beautiful men, but this one was something else. Tall and elegant and so very broken. Taron had recognised that immediately. He himself was becoming jaded by the industry, he knew that, but this man was beyond that. His spirit was crushed, which made him tragic. It made him alluring too. 

"Rough day?" Taron said when he reached Tom's side.

Melancholy blue eyes turned up towards him.

"About what I expected."

So they weren't going to pretend. Good.

Taron took a seat next to the older man.

"Did you escape your co-stars or were they otherwise occupied?" Tom questioned.

"Old married blokes. They've all gone to bed."

"Even Channing?" 

"Especially Channing."

"What will you have?" Tom asked.

"Gin. Neat."

"Two," Tom motioned to the bar tender before angling himself towards Taron and fully committing himself to the conversation.

"So how was your day?" 

"Intense."

"These things tend to be that way. Everyone wants a piece, and there's only so much a man can give, right?"

"Yeah," Taron agreed. "And I don't know how many more pieces I have left to part with."

"The fans will take as much as they can. They mean well but it's the kind of love that can be suffocating. The pressure can be overwhelming at times. They expect so much."

"So how do you deal with it?"

"I don't think I really have. But I do know that you can't please everyone. The only person you need to approve of what you do is you. If you're honest in your approach to roles, that'll be enough. People will see and appreciate that. And if they don't, then you don't need them." Tom surprised himself a little. If only he was capable of taking his own advice. What he wanted to tell Taron was that he'd already done enough, that he'd already proven he had what it took to be a leading man, but he didn't want to sound pushy or desperate. Or false. Tom took a sip of his drink, put a smile on his face, and tried for a slightly lighter angle.

"I have to say, I adore Eggsy. I really can't imagine anyone but you having pulled that off. The combination of rebeliousness and sensitivity is captivating."

Taron allowed himself to show the shadow of a smile.

"That's high praise coming from Loki."

For the next twenty minutes they tried to be normal but it was impossible, especially in the midst of an event like this. There were eyes everywhere and Tom was done with having an audience for the day. 

He finished his drink and kept his tone casual.

"Listen, I think the paps are watching. I'm going to head up to my room. Stay here for a little while longer, and then if you want, you can come up. If you don't want to, that's okay too." Tom stood up and buttoned his jacket, looking every inch the movie star that was. "Good night, Taron. Thanks for the chat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like obviously I have no idea what Tom and Taron would chat about, but I was thinking about the pressure fans put on these actors, something I sometimes feel guilty about, and I thought this was a way to voice that.


	4. Chapter 4

Expectations were a funny thing and Tom had no idea what his were, both in regards to what Taron would do, or how he should react. Right now he was operating on some crazy notion that by forcing some action, change would inevitably result. He was sick of being miserable, and any alteration in his state of mind seemed preferable. 

Twenty minutes after arriving back at his room, there was a knock on the door. His heart skipped into his throat but he forced himself to remain calm. To just take things one step at a time and see what happened. All he had to do was make it through the next five minutes and then the next five after that.

He opened the door to find Taron standing there, looking as uncertain as Tom felt. There was no denying that he was lovely, and Tom felt drawn to him in some indefinable way.

"Come on in," he offered, stepping aside to let Taron into the room.

"Thanks."

"Drink? Disney's shout," Tom offered, surveying the mini bar.

"Whatever you're having is fine," Taron replied. 

Tom popped the tops off a couple of Millers, and handed Taron one.

Taron took a seat on the couch, Tom opted to stay where he was in the kitchen area for the moment, he didn't want this to come off the wrong way.

"Listen, I want you to know this isn't something I do often."

"What's that?" Taron said, his tone leaving no doubt as to why he thought Tom had asked him up. 

He felt his cheeks heating up as he realised it was as bad as it looked.

"Hey," Taron said, getting up again and coming over to him. "I know I don't have to be here. I made a conscious choice when I knocked on your door."

Tom felt utterly lost. He knew he could never have who he really wanted but he wanted someone. He was so very lonely. Even in his head that sounded incredibly unfair. He wanted to be honest, but he was scared of Taron walking out. He didn't know what to do. So he didn't do anything, and that made him feel like something wonderful was slipping through his fingers all over again.

"Hey," Taron said again, softer this time, his fingers on Tom's jaw so Tom had to look him in the eye. "I'm lost too."

Tom could've cried with relief. Instead he took a quick step forward and crushed his mouth against Taron's.

Taron reciprocated, threading his arms around Tom's neck, pressing their bodies tighter together. It felt so good, not to be alone, and Tom was determined to savour the feeling, and to expand on it.

As he kissed the younger actor, he tried to switch his thoughts off and just feel. To concentrate on the physical, on the wet heat of Taron's eager mouth, and the desperate almost cruel way that Taron's fingers dug into his flesh.

He took Taron on the bed, looking down at his pretty, young face as he fucked him. He and Chris had never taken things this far, and he'd always imagined he'd be the bottom to Chris' top. This was wrong in so many ways but he chased his release with a desperation that bordered on indecent, trying to exorcise Taron's demons as well as his own. That much at least, maybe he could give. A temporary escape from their personal hells.

And then, when it was done, when there was nothing left to give or lose, he cried.

"I want it to be Chris..." he wept, far beyond any regard for his dignity.

"You're not my first choice either," Taron said, gently running a hand over Tom's hair, pressing a soft kiss to his temple, soothing him in this shared pain. "Fucking married co-stars, huh?"

His words caught Tom's attention, and he grabbed at the distraction.

"Who?" he wondered, wiping the tears off his face.

Taron smiled self-depreciatingly. 

"The ultimate cliché..."

"No..." Tom couldn't believe it. "Really?"

Taron rolled onto his back and shook his head.

"It was impossible not to," he groaned, throwing an arm across his eyes. "I went and fell in love with Mr Darcy..." 

Tom had to laugh, just a little, because Taron was both amazing, and as amazingly fucked up as he was. Tom loved him for it.

He coaxed Taron's arm away and smiled down at him, tracing a finger over the lovely mole on his neck, before looking up into his eyes.

"If it couldn't be him, I'm glad it was you."

"Me too," Taron smiled back, stretching up and dabbing a kiss to Tom's mouth. 

The fact that they were both relativly okay with this, that somehow it was comfortable and easy between them despite their feelings for other people, got Tom thinking. 

"Perhaps we can help each other out," he suggested. "What time is your first session in the morning?"

"It's an early one."

"And will your Mr Darcy be the one to come looking if you're late?"

"Maybe..." Taron said, trying to figure out Tom's angle.

"Grab your stuff. We're switching to your room."

"For the whole night?"

"It's too late now for modesty. I want to be there when he comes looking. Maybe we'll see just how hopeless the situation is."

Tom enjoyed the delightful way Taron's face lit up. It was enlivening to feel good about something again. To be taking some sort of control.

"Alright," Taron agreed. "I'm game if you are."

Why not? Tom figured. It wasn't as though either of them had anything to lose.


	5. Chapter 5

Where on Earth was Taron? They were due on stage in just fifteen minutes. And what was a Kingsman panel without it's Eggsy?

Strictly speaking it wasn't Colin's place to muster the troops but this was Taron and Colin was concerned, it hadn't escaped his notice that the young Welshman had been a bit out of sorts lately. 

The sparkle he'd had whilst filming the first Kingsman movie appeared to be gone. Of course Taron's life had altered immensely in the time between the two films, obviously Taron had been exposed to the less desirable parts of fame as well as the benefits since then. Colin did his best to smile and coax the same enthusiasm out of Taron, this was Harry and Eggsy's time to shine together as a team, and he wanted Taron to enjoy it, wanted them to enjoy it _together_. They may never have the chance to do something like this with one another ever again.

Colin reached the door of Taron's room and knocked.

"Who is it?" 

"It's Colin. We're running late."

"Just a sec!" Taron called from inside before flinging the door open in a state of half undress and running off again to grab a shirt.

Colin watched as Taron finished dressing, not like _that_ , it was just because he wanted Taron to hurry up. Still, he did turn his eyes away when he realised Taron might think he was staring. He was aware of how inappropriate that would be considering their work relationship and his own marital status, not to mention the fact that he was thirty years Taron's senior. 

"Come in, close the door," Taron instructed. "There were paps hanging around in the bar last night. Think we managed to avoid them though."

It wasn't the paparazzi comment that caught Colin's attention as much as the fact that Taron had been out drinking with someone. He wanted to know who.

"We?" 

"Yeah, that reminds me. Tom," Taron said, patting a leg through the covers. "Tom, come on. Get up."

A lump under the sheets, presumably _Tom_ whoever he might be, stirred and sat up, a crop of curly blonde hair and a pair of bright blue eyes emerging.

Colin recognised the man immediately as Tom Hiddleston. He hadn't even been aware that Taron was interested in the Marvel actor.

"Do you two know each other?" Taron asked.

"No. I haven't had the pleasure," Colin said, somehow managing to push the words out despite his shock.

"Colin, Tom. Tom, Colin," Taron said as he continued to gather his things up from various places around the room.

It was all very strange, and Colin didn't like it. He couldn't exactly figure out why, and now wasn't the moment to ponder it. They had to get going.

"I'm so sorry I held Taron up," Tom said, giving Taron an appraising look that appeared to be anything but apologetic. "We lost track of the time."

Was Colin supposed to respond to that? What in heavens name could he say? Considering Taron's mood of late, walking in here to find him with a man in his bed at this hour, was the last thing he had expected.

"Throw me those pants darling," Tom said, stretching a hand out, letting the sheet fall down around his waist. Colin had seen more than enough.

"Are you ready?" he snapped at Taron.  
"Almost," Taron replied, seemingly unaware that Colin was quickly losing patience.

Somehow, Tom had slipped into the trousers without Colin noticing and now stood half naked in the middle of the room, shamelessly displaying his sculpted body. He was a very attractive man, anyone with eyes could see that, it didn't make Colin like him though. Quite the opposite in fact. And he had to wonder what exactly he was doing with Taron, not that Taron wasn't attractive, because obviously he was, but this all just seemed very sudden, and he was _Loki_ for goodness sake. 

Finally Taron declared he was ready, though much to Colin's chagrin he stopped off to say goodbye to Tom on his way out. And apparently saying goodbye involved more than just words.

Tom brushed his lips over Taron's cheek, before leaning and whispering something into his ear. Whatever it was, it made Taron's face light up, and Colin didn't like it one bit. Who was this stranger to come in and put that smile on Taron's face when he'd been trying unsuccessfully to do the same thing for weeks?

"Again tonight?" Tom said, trailing a possessive hand over Taron's waist. 

"Yeah," Taron grinned. "Can't wait."

"Taron," Colin interrupted, "we really are running late."

Taron gave Tom one last smile, a positively brilliant one, before they left.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Colin asked as they strode down the hall towards the elevator.

"Tom thought so," Taron teased, hitting the down button.

"You know what I mean," Colin huffed as they stepped inside. 

"I'm not sure I do," Taron replied, an edge to his voice now. "He's a fit bloke and we went for a tumble. What's to think about?"

"It's just sex then?" For some reason, that idea made Colin feel a little better.

"Maybe," Taron shrugged. "I don't know. He's pretty great." 

The elevator reached the ground floor. It was so frustrating that they didn't have time to talk about this properly, especially when Taron was using the little bit of time they did have to check his phone, and that whatever he found there put another one of those bright smiles on his face. Not that he didn't want Taron to be happy, of course he did, but hows and whys were important too.

\---

Tom was a genius Taron had to admit. It was unreal how much better he already felt. All he had time to do as he walked towards the stage was punch in one quick message to the Marvel star. He wanted Tom to share the good news too.

\---

As Tom was preparing for another day of madness, a message from Taron appeared on his phone. 

**Think you were right :D**

Of course he was, Taron was incredible, who in their right mind wouldn't want him? Tom knew he didn't want to miss out on getting to know the Kingsman actor better himself. The silver lining he took from the whole situation was that Colin was going to take some convincing of what he was missing out on. And as far as Tom was concerned, he could take all the time he liked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I dunno what all that was about. Probably the tangible manifestation of a mind that is a bag full of cats. At least I didn't go kill 80 people in 2 days. Love you Loki.


End file.
